Homestuck: Act 6 Act 5
|start = |end = |length = 202 pages |previous = Act 6 Intermission 4 |next = Act 6 Act 5 Act 2 }} Act 6 Act 5 Act 1 is a part of Act 6 and Act 6 Act 5. It does not yet have a known title. Click the " " to open the page from Homestuck. * The act opens with Jake in the Land of Mounds and Xenon, playing with his Grandma's Fourth Wall and sighing as he fantasizes about young Grandma and Poppop, accompanied by his sprite which has been prototyped with the corpses of Sollux and Eridan. He then receives a Pesterchum message from Dirk. * Jake lets out a deeper sigh as he reads Dirk's message, who is wondering where Jake is and encourages Jake to meet up with him to explore a tomb, comparing it to the "Lion's Mouth". Jake locks his phone without responding. * Jake talks to Erisolsprite and, oblivious to the sprite's hatred of him, asks whether he should end his relationship with Dirk. Erisolsprite tells Jake to talk to Jane about it. * At her house on the Land of Pyramids and Neon, Roxy is set to throw a 16th birtday *birthday party for Jane, with Roxy's sprite (prototyped with the corpses of Nepeta and Feferi), God Cat and various carapacians in attendance. * Jane answers Jake's message and realizes that he forgot about her birthday party, which is set to begin tomorrow. Jake apologizes and, amazed at how much time has passed since they entered the game, begins recapping the events of their session. The skeletal underlings have proved nearly impossible to kill and drop only a small amount of grist; the kids have thus spent most of their session collecting grist from ruins and waiting for the Heroes to arrive. He then gets to the main topic of his message: Dirk. As Jake begins to talk about his relationship difficulties with Dirk, Jane becomes increasingly annoyed with him, and when he hypocritically criticizes Dirk for lacking self-awareness she reaches her breaking point and tells him to shut up. * Jane lashes out at Jake, saying that he is totally self-absorbed and contacts her only to talk about himself and his relationship, never once asking how she feels about anything. She begins to admit her feelings for Jake, but gets interrupted by him when he claims to have figured out what Jane is feeling. However, he has come to the totally wrong conclusion that Jane is in love with Dirk. An enraged Jane flips over the table while Roxy and her sprite watch uncomfortably. * Jane tells Jake that her party is canceled and, after telling him to shut up one last time, throws her headset onto the ground and stomps on it. Roxy asks her to stop because she is upsetting Fefetasprite. * Jane dismisses Roxy's concerns about Fefetasprite saying she knows what it is like to be in her situation. Roxy tries to cheer Jane up and mentions that if Jake and Dirk break up she would have another shot at him to which Jane states she is over Jake. Roxy jokes about Jane being OK with others dating Jake which further upsets Jane who complains about everything in the session being depressing, which compounded with waiting for the B1 kids and no contact from her Dad or Calliope pushes her to the breaking point and she leaves to go home and be by herself. The last page marks the longest sequence of recurring actions. * With Jane gone, Roxy is left alone with Fefetasprite, who has fallen asleep, and God Cat. Suddenly, GCat uses its First Guardian powers to teleport itself and Roxy into the air above Derse. * Roxy falls, and is knocked out. The Condesce stands over her. Her tiara glows magenta on the outside (as it does whenever she uses one of her unlocked psychic powers), and seems to glow bronze on the inside, as it did when she used the bronzeblood animal communing powers. * Jane arrives on LOCAH and starts angrily walking back to her house as she starts calming down. She is suddenly contacted by Caliborn. * Jane is irritated by Caliborn's sudden reemergence, since she was under the impression that he was gone for good. Much to her horror, he reveals that he can see everything she does on his tower and that he has been spying on her because he finds her attractive, claiming that his constant insults are actually his way of complimenting her appearance. Caliborn gloats about his improved artistic skills, and then gives her a "birthday present": depicting Jane as a circle with a caption calling her a " ", and postulating that he could draw a "fake circle" with right angles too small to see. Caliborn's session is revealed to now have numerous towers. He also mentions a voice in his head, which may or may not refer to Hussie. * Jane is furious at Caliborn and tries to put him to sleep by saying Calliope's name. He explains that Calliope is dead, then reveals that Jane's Dad was arrested on Derse at the start of her quest, claiming that he was brutally tortured by his captors, and is probably dead too. Crushed by this, Jane destroys her Crosbytop while telling Caliborn to leave her alone and stop watching her. * A crying Jane runs back to her house. * On Derse, the Draconian Dignitary (now dressed in a suit identical to Diamonds Droog's) checks the paper for the latest news. Prospit and Derse have been caught in diplomatic gridlock as the Dark Kingdom attempts to negotiate Jack Noir's release from prison. The White Queen has offered to let him go if the Condesce delivers an apology, but she refuses to accept their terms. The Dignitary's office is covered in piles of ignored paperwork, and he considers having the Courtyard Droll send all the forms to Prospit so Jack can fill them out in jail. * DD examines the new Fenestrated Walls that CD had alchemized. DD observes Jane through a Wall and thinks back on the Condesce's orders for the agents to leave the Nobles alone until Jane's birthday. DD makes a guess based upon her behavior that the order came from her boss, and guesses that as her boss's right hand woman she has secret plans unknown to him. * DD checks on Jane's dad, who is revealed to be unharmed in his Very Important Prisoner luxury suite. * DD observes Dad using his PDA. A new version of Serious Business has been set up that allows him to contact citizens of Derse but not the kids. Derse's citizens have made Dad a celebrity, and his business-like attire has been adopted as the kingdom's new fashion trend. Dad and some of his contacts are currently giving advice to HATLIKER, a carapacian who sat on his favorite hat and rumpled it. Some of the Dersites suggest that he try to fix the hat by "unsitting" on it, but Dad informs them that it won't work and they yield to his superior knowledge. * On Serious Business, several Dersites speculate that the rumpled hat may be more fashionable, and suggest trying to start a new rumpled hat fashion trend, however Dad refuses to condone that activity, and the Dignitary tells HATLIKER to burn the damaged hat immediately and never wear anything like it in public. The other carapacians agree. The Condesce joins in on the conversation, complaining about the " ", calling the Serious Business social network a waste of royal gold, and lamenting her decision to let " nasty clowns". She then orders DD to return her ring. * Years in the future, minus several, with Roxy's House in the carapacian colony there is a thunderstorm. * In her bedroom Roxy starts reading some of her wizard fiction, "Wizardy Herbert". Herbert is aware of himself being in a novel having apparently left it earlier and spent years outside it and after returning sees the characters as mindlessly following a script. * Roxy skips ahead to a scene where the characters are playing a magical sport and are having an argument because of secrets revolving around a series of events. Beatrix realises that Grant's name is fake and suspects it of being an anagram as a clue under their noses. As the sport begins Beatrix apparently realises that the name is an anagram for "not an anagram" and Roxy skips to the end. At the end Herbert and Beatrix are unable to influence the game and suspect the story of trying to make them into a token romance. The writing falls apart as Roxy's drunkenness get the better of her. * Roxy decides to stop writing while drunk and gets cheered by Calliope. Suddenly, the storm causes the power to go out in her house, which should be impossible since the electricity is provided by Skaianet hubs, not an external power grid. Roxy tries to chat with Calliope but is met with silence. While continuing to get no response, she realizes that she somehow knows Calliope's name and isn't actually drunk, indicating that the flashback is actually a dream bubble memory. * Roxy hears something and looks out her window. Though intact and not powered, it appears to lead into the void, and she sees the cracks in paradox space that created. She then turns her eyes to see... * ...Twinkly Herbert in the distance. She gladly reunites with her friend but is soon interrupted by Calliope, who begins to speak to her through Herbert's morse-code speech. Calliope tells Roxy that her brother is out to destroy her soul, then asks her to come with her. * Roxy leaves her room, but notices that her house has been altered from the way she remembers it and that she is now wearing the outfit of a fashionable science woman. Calliope doesn't know why this is happening and tells her to keep going. Roxy examines a poorly-illustrated wizard painting printout on the wall and proclaims that " ". * After admiring more shitty wizard pictures, Roxy thinks she sees the Condesce at the end of a corridor. Calliope reminds her that this is only an image from her subconscious, and leads her to the door to the observatory at the top of the house (which now has a swirl symbol next to it) where Calliope says they will have more privacy. * Roxy enters the door and finds herself walking out of a giant version of the Sburb Beta house logo. A white spiral path begins in front of the house. All of the scenery appears painted in the same style as Calliope's art, which is immensely unusual. * Roxy walks down the pathway towards the end of the spiral. Behind her, the Sburb house vanishes and is replaced with a large white circle, just like in Calliope's . * Roxy continues walking down the pathway, reaching the black circle in the center. As she reaches the middle, the spiral glows brightly, and Calliope appears behind her smiling in cherub form with black eyes. * As Roxy turns around, Calliope turns into her fan troll Callie Ohpeee, preventing Roxy from seeing her true appearance. She says hello to Roxy. * Roxy, confused about her appearance as a troll, questions her about it, Calliope informs her that she was worried about scaring her but refuses to show her true appearance when asked, clarifying she also is more comfortable in that form. Calliope explains the different plans of the ghosts, to find a weapon to use against her brother and others looking for her believing her to be the key to his defeat. Calliope dismisses this as she was incapable of defeating him in life, rather she believes a version of herself from an alternate timeline where she predominated over Caliborn exists and the version of her from that timeline is the key to her brother's defeat. * Roxy asks what the kids need to do to be heroes, and Calliope tells her that they must win their game. While they will not have to fight directly to win, his allies will still attempt to sabotage them in any way possible, and tomorrow a final battle will begin that will determine their fates. She tells Roxy that in order to prepare for the fight, the kids must find their Quest Crypts and ascend to the God Tiers. Roxy becomes aware that she is in the dream bubbles because the Condesce abducted her, but Calliope tells her that the Batterwitch also wants to see defeated and plans to double-cross her master by exploiting Roxy's God Tier abilities. Calliope then becomes alarmed by something. * Roxy turns around to see Rose behind her, as Calliope remains shocked by Rose's presence, going so far as to type in all caps. * Calliope freaks out because, now that a Light player has entered the bubble, will be able to find and kill her. Roxy and Rose are oblivious to her cries and smile excitedly at each other. * Continuing to panic, Calliope poofs Roxy with wake up powder, gives Rose a face full of rise and shine dust, then frantically blasts out anti-sleeping majyyks. * Roxy wakes up in a Derse jail cell. On the floor is a classified file, which says "YOURE WELCOME" on it, for Roxy from the Condesce. * Roxy examines the contents of the briefing and, after watching large amounts of glitter fall out of the folder, dismisses the Condesce's proposal as impossible and discards it. She hears a noise coming from the other side of her cell's door. * Roxy recieves a present from the Courtyard Droll: Dad's PDA and a gold ring. CD laments the lack of a bull penis umbrella for celebration. * Roxy pesters Dirk and tells him about her situation. After putting on the ring, she was able to turn both invisible and intangible and easily escape from prison. As she talks, she realizes that she's actually talking to Lil Hal Junior, Lil Hal's own personal auto-responder. Hal eventually joins the chat and tells her that Dirk is busy. Dirk can be seen standing at the corner of his roof. * Hal interrupts his conversation with Dirk to tell him about Roxy's attempt to contact him. Dirk becomes increasingly frustrated with Lil Hal's behavior and reveals he is beginning to hate his own identity. Hal and Dirk talk about prototyping him like Dirk promised after preventing Gamzee from prototyping his sprite for 5 months, however Dirk (believing Hal to be dangerous) attempts to destroy him, causing Hal to admit his fear of dying. Dirk lets up and decides to prototype him, only to discover that while he was distracted that Gamzee prototyped Equius. * Dirk decides to prototype Hal anyway and throws him into the sprite. The new gestalt sprite travels through a field of robotic horses while Gamzee is driven to tears by the sheer beauty of what he is witnessing. The Flash is a reference to the [of Flash pages#Extras|[S Ride.]] Flashes, and is the first one to be on a non-bonus page. * ARquiusprite admires his new body and repeatedly asks Dirk to touch his muscles. Dirk refuses to. * Back on Derse, Roxy sneaks around while contacting Jake and telling him what's going on. Jake doesn't notice her messages and instead tries to hide his Sweet Bro tattoo by covering it up with green marker and a Geromy sticker. Roxy becomes frustrated with everyone ignoring her and ends the conversation. * Jake notices that Roxy messaged him and goes to reply when he is suddenly contacted by Caliborn. Caliborn says that he will no longer talk to Roxy or Jane and wants to make an arrangement with Jake: he will become Jake's "patron troll" and help him realize his full potential as a Page of Hope so that he can become a worthy adversary for Caliborn. Jake accepts the offer and is rewarded with that Caliborn drew for him and forces him to use. * Caliborn explains his belief that as a Lord of Time, his quest includes becoming a master of the forces of inevitability. Jake asks about his own aspect, Hope, which Caliborn confesses to ignoring during his research of the game. Caliborn merely reveals that Hope is apparently a force of unparalleled power. Caliborn asks Jake to try and explain Hope but dismisses his answer as too pathetic and emotional, suggesting that Jake will truly understand Hope after ascending to the god tiers. Caliborn explains to Jake how to ascend and reveals his plan to give Jake his juju. Caliborn explains that his juju has a great unknown power and his sister's likely did the opposite, but their individual powers are nothing to their total combined power. However, Caliborn is unable to give Jake his sister's juju, as it had already been passed on to someone else. Caliborn explains how he came into possession of a new juju, Lil Cal, and that while he previously believed him to be cursed and empty, he has came to realize that his juju would not always be "empty." * Caliborn explains that Cal is cursed to bring eternal misery and death to anyone inhabiting the same universe as it, and that he will be responsible for cursing it in the first place. As Gamzee brings the B1 Cal to the B2 Courtyard Droll, the puppet winks at him. Caliborn says that his essence will become intertwined with that of the puppet, and anyone who gazes into Cal's eyes will be able to see directly into his (Caliborn's) soul. * On LOCAH, Jane returns to her house and looks at the portraits in the hallway. They remind her of happier days she spent with her "dead" father and it only manages to depress her further. She remarks on her distaste for gushers (which she insinuates may be made in part of wiggler slime) and desire to abolish them after taking the Crockercorp throne, in stark contrast with John's disgust with Betty Crocker and love of gushers. She tries to cheer herself up by drawing a beagle puss on the picture of Michael Cera (mirroring his in Act 1), but her Prankster's Gambit hits zero and she starts to cry again. * Jane enters her room and becomes even sadder after looking at the posters there. Jake contacts her and apologizes for hurting her feelings, then tries to give her Caliborn's juju as a birthday present. However, he has forgotten what the captcha code for it is (uROBuROS) and frantically tries to remember before Jane silently ends the chat. Furious that he would try to give her something from Caliborn, Jane destroys the Tobias Funke poster that Jake gave her. * Jane receives a e-letter from Calliope, who has included the code for her own juju (unsurprisingly, it is UrobUros) and talks about how much she's looking forward to comparing notes about her own session with Jane. The letter reduces Jane to tears once again. The Condesce attempts to contact her through the Tiaratop's brainwashing, but Jane throws it on the ground and runs away sobbing. * Roxy messages Jane, but unsurprisingly does not get a response from her. She proceeds to tell Jane about the god tier suicide plan and other topics until The Condesce interjects, telling her not to bother her "heiress" (which could refer either to Jane or Feferi, as Roxy mentioned messaging Fefetasprite) and saying that she knows Roxy is out of jail. Meanwhile, Jane prepares to Alchemize Calliope's juju. * Jane creates the juju - a green sucker - then successfully guesses the code for Caliborn's juju and also makes it - a red sucker while Gamzee stands nearby. The text appears, in a clear reference to 's message to Gamzee in Cascade. The two suckers fuse together into a single spiral sucker (with a single frame displaying [[wikipedia:The_Neverending_Story#AURYN|AURYN from The Neverending Story]]). Jane attempts to not lick it, but fails to resist the urge and is turned into a Trickster Mode version of herself. Gamzee looks on dumbfounded. * Jane releases a burst of energy which restores life to part of her planet and kills the skeletal underlings. She then blasts off as the curtains close on Act 6 Act 5 Act 1, in the final reference to . * The closed curtains spin and the moon and sun of the gear-like contraption become the two pink smile faces from the Warhammer of Zillyhoo and the background glows in flashy colors, the curtains become bright violet as they zoom in to be opened in the next page.